CHURCH A church is either (a) a big, generally impressive-looking building where people go to indulge in religious activities, or (b) a rash commonly found on the upper-thigh. I think it's (b). One well-known cure is to dab it with a cream mixed from worm manure, cow snot and crushed caterpillars. If unchecked, a church can spread into the genital region, and may cause a great deal of pain during intercourse. Some churches also grow in anal areas. [See also: Bible] -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA